Here’s a truth bomb the old school mental health world doesn’t talk about nearly enough: **You’re not broken.** You’re just out of touch with your core self — the real you underneath all the survival strategies and social masks.
In this transformative episode, Dr. John sits down with psychotherapist and author Hilary Jacobs Hendel to explore the *new science of emotions* — and how your feelings (yes, even the messy ones) are actually the fastest way back to happiness, wholeness, and a life that feels like *yours*.
We’ve been trained to see emotional pain — anxiety, depression, shame — as signs something is wrong with us. But what if those “symptoms” are actually your mind and body waving red flags, trying to get your attention? What if they’re signals that something essential — *you* — has been buried under years of adapting to everyone else?
In this episode, we dive into:
– Why so many of us lose connection to our authentic selves (hint: it starts early)
– How we learn to trade authenticity for approval — and why that’s a one-way ticket to anxiety and shame
– What your emotions are really trying to tell you — and how to listen
– How repressing feelings leads to stress, disconnection, and the slow leak of joy from your life
– How to reconnect with your core feelings like anger, sadness, fear, joy, and excitement — and why they’re your GPS for life
– What the hell The Change Triangle is — and how to use it to find peace, purpose, and presence
**About Hilary:**
Hilary Jacobs Hendel, LCSW, is a powerhouse psychotherapist, author of *It’s Not Always Depression*, and the former mental health consultant for the hit show *Mad Men*. She’s all about helping people get real, get vulnerable, and get their lives back — not by numbing out or toughing it out, but by *feeling* their way through. Her work is grounded in compassion, curiosity, and the conviction that being human is messy — and that’s okay.
📖 Grab her book: [*It’s Not Always Depression*](https://www.amazon.com/s?k=it%27s+not+always+depression)
If you’re tired of pretending you’re fine when you’re not, if you feel like you’ve lost *you* along the way — this episode is your sign. The path home starts here.
If you like what you’ve heard, support us by subscribing, leaving reviews on Apple podcasts. Every review helps to get the message out! Please share the podcast with friends and colleagues.
Wanna Go Deeper Down the Rabbit Hole? Here’s Where to Stalk Us (Respectfully):
👔 For Dr. John’s work helping execs and high performers stop silently imploding:
👉 [GuideToSelf.com](https://GuideToSelf.com)
💔 Curious about the couples counseling magic John’s doing with the amazing Joree Rose, LMFT
👉 [LoveIsntEnough.net](https://LoveIsntEnough.net)
(*Spoiler: Love isn’t enough, but skills, self-awareness, and maybe a glass of wine are.*)
🎙️ For all things caveman evolution, podcast-style:
👉 [TheEvolvedCaveman.com](https://TheEvolvedCaveman.com)
💃 For Joree’s powerhouse work helping women ditch burnout, find joy, and stop dating emotionally unavailable man-children:
👉 [JoreeRose.com](https://JoreeRose.com)
Follow Dr. John
📸 **Instagram:** [@TheEvolvedCaveman](http://instagram.com/@TheEvolvedCaveman)
👥 **Facebook:** [Anger.Management.Expert](http://facebook.com/Anger.Management.Expert)
🐦 **Twitter/X:** [@JohnSchin](http://x.com/JohnSchin)
💼 **LinkedIn:** [Dr. John Schinnerer](http://linkedin.com/in/DrJohnSchinnerer)
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Follow, click, explore, evolve. Or don’t. But your emotional health might suffer and your relationships could end in flames. No pressure. 🔥
#maledepression #depressioninmen #mensemotions #mensmentalhealth #menswork #emotionalhealth #emotionalintelligence #psychology #mentalhealth
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